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Why am I mad? I mean I don't control you or what you do with your life. I think it's the fact that you were so disappointed in me. Even if you never want to admit to it, we both know you were. But then you go and so it just to say it's just a one time thing and how it was fun? What happened to everything you said and felt when I did it? I don't have a right to feel like this but I do and I don't know why. Why am I wasting my time on you when you're clearly not doing the same. I need to get over you but it feels wrong. Fuck sake. Why do I have to love you. Maybe I'm falling out of love? No. I'm not. I know I'm not. I can't look you in the eyes, hear you laugh, see you smile and say "I'm not in love with you". That's how I know. You gave me permission to move on. "Permission" makes it sound weird. I know I don't need your permission, it's more like closure if that makes sense. I don't know where out "relationship" is going to go. I still sometimes think it's just better for me to back off. But you're not making that easy. You're always talking to me. I wake up to good morning texts from you on most days. You're so obvious to read. I act oblivious on purpose so you feel like you're being sneaky about it. I can see how you look at me. I can tell when you're flirting. Maybe in another life I guess. I just hope I don't get hurt again if I do go through with us being together again