im sick of being nice, but i was raised to be the nicest i can be, im so selfless its killing me. i cant stand it anymore, i cant think about myself for one second because when i do im looked at as selfish. and if i stop caring its that im lazy, but i live to please people. im only 14, i dont want this life anymore, i feel like everyone is against me, my biological dad has been abusive, and mentally abuses me to this day no matter where i am he gaslights me, and he guilt trips me. my mom is so mentally unstable that i have to be her therapist. my dad is in constant pain and wont ask for help while working, and sometimes he scares me so much because he sometimes reminds me of my biological dad. my sister is going through the same path i am, i hate my life, i dont want this for her and ive been a second parent to her so that she doesnt have the same life. my memaw has dementia and she will forget about us one day, im not ready for that. my brother is in jail for havng pictures of him and his girlfriend when they were younger while they were doing it. i have no time to look for myself, ive been to three mental hospitals, i want to go to another one to get shit straight. but we are poor so we cant afford it. i cant stand it anymore...

2 years ago

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