(pretend like i’m ranting to my best friend) You know, you’ve been really distant lately. Like i said, you promised me that you would stay and that you would call, and then you didn’t. For three fucking weeks. And you know that hits hard on me. And then you come back, you’re doing good, replying quickly, when you stop. You just stop texting, all you do is “like” my texts. You stopped texting first. I text. I text first. I keep texting. Because I need you Jordan, you’re basically literally my only fucking friend right now- my other one i don’t really talk to anymore, and MC is always grounded, as you know. It’s bad not having you there, but when you’re on hiatus, at least I know i’m not the only one. But now, all you fucking do is talk about how much you love your boyfriend, and how much you miss your boyfriend, and saying “hurry up i miss your voice” to him on a whole ass fucking post when i know you talked to him a few days ago. i’m not going to act like i don’t mind you having a boyfriend, because i do, because i’m a self centered bitch who never learned to share her friends because guess the fuck what, i never fucking had any and if i did they all left or i had to leave one way or another. what about me. i haven’t talked you you in weeks. you said you’d be there. you said you wouldn’t leave. you said you’d stay, and you’d try, and you’d put in effort. but it doesn’t fucking seem like it, not to me. i don’t have any other friends, and it’s not like i can just go up and make some. we’re going into high school, everyone already had their friends and their friend groups and their best friends i can’t just go get another one. not only because of that but because you know i can’t socialize. you know i told you i wouldn’t open up again if i lost you. well if this doesn’t get better, i don’t know if i’ll be able to trust again. and i know this is a shitty thing to do, but if that happens, that’s on you. i couldn’t say this to her because she has depression and i don’t want to make her do anything but i had to get this out because ✨we can’t afford therepy✨

2 years ago

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