I HATE MY GRANDPA.

I've been living with my mom's friends family. I love them so much they literally make my world better but I hate my biological Family specifically my Grandpa. He is a spice of shit. When my mom was 16 her mother died(my grandma). My mom was an only child so it was just her and her dad left. Her dad went into depression and started smoking, drinking and doing all sorts of things.(My mom's friend family told me this story btw) Her dad started misbehaving and one day he r*ped her (his own FUCKING daughter WTF) My mom ran away from home after that, I was told she said she was too scared to go back so she spent 3 weeks outside/ at a friends house. She went back home to grab all her things when she found her dad passed out on the floor. She called 911 and he was rushed to the hospital. Unfortunately he survived. While they were at the hospital she also fell sick and they tested her and that's where she found out she was pregnant with me. Every time I think of the story I literally feel like ending my life. My mom attempted to end her life too but her friend stopped her. My mom's friend family took my mom in and cared for her meanwhile my grandpa got thrown in jail for 12 years for sextual assault. Last year, 2 days after my 13th birthday, after my mom gave me my birthday present she ended her life after finding out my grandpa was free. Idk how my grandpa found where I was but he tried to gain custody over me. But my mom already registered her friend as my legal gradians. My grandpa took us to court and they fought over my custody. Lucky we won because he didn't have a house anymore so the court said he has no way of taking care of me. I'm just scared that one day when he gets a house or is stable he'll try and take me away again. I miss my mom so much and to think she's actually kind of my half-sister if you think about it and my grandpa is my dad. It's really missed up and it makes me wanna throw up. Sometimes I wonder why my grandpa would do such a thing, I wish he had a life sentence, 12 years wasn't enough. I literally don't wanna be alive rn I'm the result of something so disgusting. IDC IF HE WAS INFLUENCED BY DRUGS HE SHOULD BE THE ONE TO DIE.