I have a friend who used to deal with an eating disorder, and i know how hard it was on her. i constantly compare our bodies together in my mind, not in any really harsh way, but more like i find hers so beautiful, its not like i necessarily hate my body, but i so long to be thinner, even just a little. i wanna be skinnier, im about to graduate and i dont really think very far into my future but all i can really think about is how easier it'd be to starve myself when there arent so many people around to watch me, my friend included. i can just work and sleep and work and sleep. i just find skinnier bodies attractive, chunkier or curvy bodys are attractive too, but i feel like it isnt on me.
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