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i don’t see a point any more. i used to think oh yeah just always be happy no point in being sad. but that was when i didn’t have anything to be sad about. today, i may have received the most information i have in a while. my friends are getting together and i’m standing here alone. my grandpa died from lung cancer and my dads starting to follow in his footsteps. he thinks he’s being secret but today my sister told me she found his vape and chewing tobacco. this will probably all end up in my parents getting a divorce or something considering everyone yells at each other in my house anyways. i just don’t know anymore. and yeah i may be a privileged white boy who gets most anything anyone else wants, but that doesn’t cover up the fact that nobody truly likes me that much. i’m begging to feel like i was always the kid people only hung out with cuz no one else would. now i’m just resorting to writing a shitty post on some dumbass websites trying to flood my problems into someone else’s arms. but now i’m starting to get to the age where i enter the real world. where you can’t do whatever you want with no consequences. soon i won’t have any time to do anything i want at all. i wish i took more advantage of my time when i had. i wish i sister didn’t make me to self conscious. i wish i haden’s gotten so shy. i wish there was a point