so a lot of stuff is going on in my life right now. first, i do three sports: softball, dance, and track. i hurt my hip 5-6 weeks ago and have been in extreme pain. for two weeks i had to sit out and do nothing, it was hard since i love my sports. now i went back today expecting to be okay - nope i can barely run or walk without limping or being in extreme pain. my step mom has to go through chemo for the second time now. she didn’t have cancer the first time but now they’ve discovered she does in two places. she had surgery and now she’s cancer free - but it’s routine to do chemo for four months - once a week. now - i am 15 years old. i have a job at a burger shop. today was the first time ever that i’ve not been all there, with everything going on. i was leaning on a counter due to my hip hurting, which they KNOW has been bothering and hurting me. also - my sister who works with me asked if i wanted to cut the pickles or whatever and i JOKINGLY said “not really but i’ll do it, no problem.” so instead of my manager who is also a friend to us, coming to me, they go and talk shit with my sister about me and threaten to fire me. i have depression and anxiety so with everything going on - it’s getting worse. i have extreme family problems, meaning half my family doesn’t talk to one another, someone’s always hurt, etc etc. so i have a lot rn with that too. i have a total of three friends and only one of them talks to me when i’m upset. the other two are my friends since preschool and third grade but they don’t really care about that stuff. might be cuz i’m a girl and they’re guys. but i just don’t know what to do. i have so much going on and i want to end my life. i used to cut and i’m almost a year clean. but now i wanna go back. but this time make sure i cut myself. i feel like an idiot but life’s life right?

2 years ago

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