ever since corona my motivation and my everything have just gone downhill. my grades got worse, my room got messier, I stopped caring, I bottled up even more, faked happiness, started snapping at family members who care about me and binge ate... a lot. I regret everything, I regret everything I ate, I hate the way I look, I hate that my rooms a mess and I have no motivation to clean it, I hate that im so behind on school work and I have no motivation and I hate that I cant talk to anyone. im a pretty good actor and so everyone thinks my life is fine and I cant tell them otherwise, I tried telling my parents and they told me that im not depressed, I dont need to talk to anyone and im probably feeling this because my friends are talking about depression. and now no hate to my parents because I love them unconditionally but that isn't what I wanted to hear. Im literally on edge, I have no motivation im fucking numb I feel weird and I hate this feeling. I hate loosing control but I cant fucking talk to someone and every time I try to write it down on a journal I just cant Idek why.

1 year ago

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