I think about killing people alot, I know how to do it right. I have law in training friends that say they would help cover me if I needed help. I've spent my whole life held back by my parents, teachers,bosses, I wanna dice some of them up and stick screws under the nails of my groomers. I've always been smart, but I only ever enjoyed being smart when I imagined my abusers dead. Is it ok to think like this? Am I wrong in the head for not wanting to let others step on me to be the bread winner? Am I allowed to live normally with these thoughts? Not in a mental hospital like my parents put me in for fun? I'm afraid of death but only if it's because of them, I'll naught kill myself because it will be because of them. If rather die doing daring stuff or because I got hit by a truck. If there's lif after death then someday let me be born happy, without these terrible memories or thoughts.
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