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I was able to meet up with a friend today and we had so much fun, I finally was able to open up about me cutting and not feel judged cause she's went through it too, we couldnt stop talking and laughed all day long but after she was gone it all felt wrong, i forgot my headphones and i hated walking home, seeing all the people look at my with the scars on my arms, i had all the fresh ones covered up cause i want people to think i have stopped. also walking home alone i'm always looking over my shoulder making sure nobody follows i'm always scared that something may happen, i always think everyone is looking at me and saying all these mean things and how i'm not pretty. i wish there was something out there that i could wear so people know to not look at me so i feel safer, i feel like alot of people have the same issue as me. right now i'm sitting on my bed writing this trying to not look at the bottom draw on the side table cause thats where i keep my secrets, it's so hard to stop since i've started again i remember why i done it, for that one second i feel something other than numbness.