I want to kill my self my Oates to fucking hate me so hey degrade me they compare me to other kids and they don’t have hope for me at all i want is for my dad to walk up in my room either to beat me with a club, beat me with a baseball bat with wires or 12 inch nails , shoot me , or fucking choke me to death so I don’t have to disappoint them and I wish I could be no longer remembered and that I wish Luke I genially want to die and for everyone to forget about me like I was never there and when they see me in a picture I fade of the face of the planet or they say who is that faggot must be some random ass honkie random piece of shit. I want to bleed out and die right now and that I would never be remembered I wish I was forgot like trash never to be seen again every burned like burning in hell being pain and suffering . My parents say they love me but I can see they don’t they say that can’t stand the shit I do and where do those choices come from me so basically saying they can’t stand me my mom want to kick me out at 18 good cause when I’m 18 and get 300-500$ I’m buying a gun and ending it all like I want it to and they will be so happy I see them now happy I’m not there. My mom has told me when I’m out of the house she doesn’t even want to hear me she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I can’t wait till the day I die everything will be good 😁 everything will go back to normal parents won’t care they will forget about me all my friends will be happy without me my sister will be even happier and everyone in this earth will be going back to normal. If I found a magic lamp my 3 wishes would be 1.) everyone will forget who I am. 2.) That I’m whiled of everything that my name or picture I’m on. 3.) to die right now so my parents wouldn’t have to go through this mess I have them on chains and the only way for those chains to be broken is for me not to be there I assure you that if I was forgotten and I was invisible and can see life without me that my parent would see me and be like yes I’m finally free. He isn’t our problem anymore and I can see them smile. I’m a disgrace to my family I’m a useless cunt. My mom drinks every night be cause of me. My dream is to join the military and get shot and get forgotten like I wasn’t even there. I really hope to wake up one day and see my dead body lying there 😁👍. I’d be so happy I wouldn’t care if I went to heaven or hell I’d want to be in hell for me to burn get whipped and be a slave for eternity. God could never forgive me for what I did. I have done so many sins I’d need death that second as a punishment like deleted. My parent say they get calls from teachers everyday about me why they don’t call me it’s not my parents fault it’s me call me not them I hope one day I’m driving a semi truck with gas on the back of it pops it’s tire and destroy everything and hit me and blow up then I hope that that explosion makes another oil tanker collide and blow up and that I would so far be blown to pieces that they wouldn’t even know who I am. I really want to die I would sacrifice my soul to the evil for me to die right now I got COVID-19 I wish that would hav finished me but nope I only had a cough I wish I was hospitalized sick and died 3 days later. You have no idea how badly I want that to happen the only person I could see that would care is my course Joe or my uncle Jeff those people would only care anyone else in the world hell FUCKING no the other people in this world wouldn’t give 2 FUCKS about me. And my parents compare me to other kids😒. Like you think that’s right comparing me to other kids making me seem like I’m a fucking prices of trash doesn’t that make sense that I compare you to Bill Gates how rich he is compared to my dad judging people by there grades pretty fucking stupid. I remember when I was little my parent I was scared of them because the power they have my dad dragged me by my hair all the way from one side of the house back and fourth 3 times and next day came back to me and said sorry like the fuck you ain’t sorry if you gonna do it again. As I’m playing this right now my head I can feel my head pulsating and hot ready to blow at any second I’m 17 can’t wait to turn 18. 😇 18 will be the best and happiest year of my life. Be forgotten like trash no, one will remember, and my family will be happy without me. One of my friends rolled his car over he was so scared of his parents he wanted me on the phone on mute and his parents didn’t even care they were chill about it and his dad paid the 26k for the whole car to be built again and his dad also got the driving records off of him. I wish sometimes my parents where like that but nah mom from Russia and dad from Italy worst combo parents ever they will beat you into the fucking ground like you stole gods supper they would not even think twice I got a 26 over for a speeding ticket and what does my mom do she tells her friends and it embarrass me to think that email@example.com help me if U can
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