About a year ago I was the most innocent girl you’d ever know. I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden i was craving all this attention from guys. and trust me, that’s what i got. not one guy that i’ve been with was bc i loved them or wanted to be with them. i regret ever single decision i’ve made. the first guy was my older brother’s best friend. he took my virginity and my brother still doesn’t know. i want to tell him but it would shatter him. the second guy at first was a stranger. after i slept with him i found out he was a guy that my friend had talked to in the past and she still liked him. although i felt bad i slept with him again. i caught feelings for him for a little bit but all i see is him use girls so i ignore what i feel for him. the third guy was the second guys friend. i was scared to say no. but i figured after the first time, what’s the harm in doing it again? we’ve done it 4 times. i regret every. single. time. the fourth guy was someone i thought i could trust. we were friends. he was also the second and third guys friend. we were all basically in the same friend group. i knew he liked me and he knew i didn’t want a relationship. during the deed i heard him turn off his phone and he said his mom texted. i stupidly believed him. about a month later one of our mutual friends told me he took a video of me. i will never trust any of those people again. the fifth guy was someone i had slight feelings towards. we went to my friends and ended up doing it. after he left the room i chilled on tik tok for a bit. then the previous guy (i’m referring to him as the third guy) came into the room to “sleep”. he begged me to fuck him and i said no considering i just had intercourse. he didn’t know. he asked me to at least give him head. i caved in bc i just wanted him to leave me alone and i was scared to say no. he ended up manipulating me into going all the way. the next day everyone found out and the fifth guy lost interest. i am now the girl that fucked two guys in one night. kill two birds with one stone, right? moral of my story is, if you’re reading this, respect yourself enough to say no. love yourself enough to forgive yourself when you couldn’t say no. it’s ok to make mistakes. don’t let what other people think of you control your thoughts or actions. you don’t need a guy (or girl) to tell you that you are good enough. in the long run, YOU are the ONLY person that gets to decide your worth. and let me tell you- you are so worth it.
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