I honestly feel like I'm losing it...the more I try the worse things are. My kids don't mind me , I have no job and I overthink everything, making it worse on myself. I'm afraid of losing everything that I know and love. It sounds stupid and dramatic but its honestly how i feel. I feel if i didn't have my kids that i would just end my life to get out of everyone's way. I feel like a useless waste of space. I need help and don't know how to get back to who I used to be. That girl who was happy and goofy. Wasn't arguing and yelling all the time , the one who enjoyed being around people and not hiding from everyone trying to avoid any attention. The only thing other than my kids making me happy is Logan. He's always been the love of my life and probably always will be. Even when I left him I loved him with all my heart. I honestly was stupid to leave him but i was so depressed and was just looking for something to ease my heartache and i made everything worse. I tried forcing myself to love someone else and I couldn't. All I did was think about him. But now that we are back together the only thing I am afraid of is that I'm not the same girl he was with before. What I mean by that is I am literally mentally screwed up and I'm afraid one day he's going to wake up and get tired of me. Tired of having to reassure me everytime he turns and listening to me rant about all of my problems.

2 years ago

Be the first to comment!