WriteAnonymously

I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY. I'M TIRED OF FAKING BEING STRONG, I HAVE MY OWN FEELINGS AND MY OWN ISSUES, YET I'M ALWAYS EXPECTED TO BE THERE FOR EVERYONE ELSE. I NEED TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT FOR ME, AND STOP FEELING BAD FOR OTHERS. I NEED TO BE FOCUSED ON ME AND DO ALL THE THINGS I KNOW I CAN ACHIEVE. I'VE BEEN SAD AND DEPRESSED FOR YEARS AND NO ONE EVEN KNOWS. I WISH PEOPLE WOULD STOP PROJECTING ONTO ME I WANT THE CHANCE TO BE FREE AND LIVE MY LIFE, DO THE THINGS I LOVE AND ENJOY DOING, WITHOUT WORRRYING ABOUT ANYONE ELSE OR WHAT THEY'RE THINKING. MY FAMILY HAS BEEN TOXIC FOR YEARS AND THEY DON'T EVEN REALISE IT, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, BUT I WISH THEY WOULD LEAVE ME OUT OF THEIR PERSONAL ISSUES, IT UPSETS ME DEEPLY I FEEL I'VE WASTED SO MUCH TIME AND SO MUCH OF MY POTENTIAL BECUASE I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO MAKE THEM PROUD AND HAPPY I ALWAYS THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY DOING WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. I WANT TODAY, MAY 1ST 2021 TO BE A FRESH START FOR ME (IT HURTS SAYING THIS, BECUASE I'VE PROMISED MYSELF A FRESH START MANY TIMES BEFORE AND HAVE FAILED) BUT ONE THING I KNOW DIFFERENT NOW, IS I WONT BE BOUND BY WHAT OTHERS AND MY FAMILY THINK OR WANT, I AM DOING THIS FOR ME, I HAVE TO BE SELFISH, I HAVE TO DO WHATS RIGHT FOR ME, BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WILL I PRAY THE LORD GIVES ME STRENGTH AND GUIDES ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.