Again with this

I try so damn hard to be the funny one. It's so draining but it makes people smile. I admit I'm a people please and when I'm not, I'm so lonely. Dragging myself out there, before the world grabs me again. I feel, no, I know that I truly don't have any friends . They all simply use me. Like some plastic bag. Only when they need me do they start paying any attention to me. Fuck this. I hate the ugly sense of uselessness. And having my mind crowded with all these ideas, hope and "maybes". I should have known my place by now. I know when they go out without me, they aren't even trying as hard so I do to see them . And it's hurt more than words can describe. Sometimes I close my eye and wonder wtf am I doing here?!. They don't give a fuck so why should I Why should I But i do know I'm too weak , and they are all I got