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Im thinking about ending my life I just don't know if i rlly want to yet, I need to be broken down i just need to be in that stage where "IDC" enough about anything I need to be in a state where im reminded no one loves me and im worthless I really need to be broken But even then idk how ima do it I don't want it to hurt. Ive been getting dangerously angry in depressed Because im holding in so much pain but im able to let it out and no one notices and when they do they think im just trying to annoy them I need to prove to them its real and im gonna do it but i don't know if i want to Im thinking about stop eating and shutting down everyone in my life So that way if they Actaully notice what im going through it won't be to late to help me before i end everything ive come to known I feel like theres honestly no hope left for me and id be better off dead. My birthday is coming up soon so i think instead of turning 17 ima just slit my throat in the kitchen as my own gift to myself All my anixity and struggles will be gone ill be happier dead