SA'd, but didn't mind when you thought about it later?

I'm an alcoholic and have been for years. Not 100% drunk all the time but when I drink it's always balls to the wall drink for the sole purpose of getting drunk...like blackout drunk. I have no off switch. I've been this way since high school hanging out with buds. I'm a dude, btw. I'm in my late 20s now, and work took me to a new city...and my habits have gotten me into trouble, but now I have no friends to look out for me. My first goal was to find a bar near my apartment when I moved here. It's not a terrible neighborhood, but it's not great, either. I don't know anyone, so I literally just park my ass on the bar and drink. There's small talk, but mostly everyone is just there to drink and go home. Me too. A few weeks ago I did exactly that...went, drank, and then - it kinda goes blank for awhile. I wake up in bed (sort of). I knew I was in my bed. I heard someone shuffling around. I was vaguely away that they were taking my clothes off. Out again. Sort of awake again and was vaguely aware something was around my rectum. Sort of thought maybe I'd shit myself and someone was cleaning me up? Out again. Then somewhat aware that my asshole was being spread open. I'm too far gone to resist. Out again. Then I'm aware of weight on me and something pressing against my hole - again, too far gone to do or say anything. Out again. Then I'm aware of the slapping sounds, still pressed under someone's weight. I hear myself moaning but too out of it to move. I sort of realize that I am being fucked in the ass. I'm also too numb for it to register as a bad situation. I'm in and out while it's happening. I don't know who it is and don't have enough control to even try to look behind me to see who it is. It's happening, but it doesn't feel real. I hear grunting. I feel the thrusts. I don't register pain. Just the weirdness of the thing in my hole. Then it goes black completely. I wake up and know immediately my hole is throbbing and sore. It feels hot sort of. I force myself to the bathroom and drink water, trying to shake the grogginess and sit on the toilet. I start farting...and it's not just air. This goes on for awhile, and it stings. I stand up and look in the toilet, but there's no poop, diarrhea, etc. It's globs of whitish clumps floating. I know from jacking off into the toilet before that it's someone's cum, and that cum came out of my asshole. Someone helped me home after i went black. Someone stripped me down. Someone lubed up my ass. Someone fucked me. Someone came in my asshole. I am disgusted. I am disturbed. At the same time I regret that I missed it, really.