Somehow I keep coming back here as it seems to be the only place where I can talk about the things that go on. Not having anyone to talk about it in real life is terrifying. Currently, I'm living in a transphobic and really unsupportive household. I can't even take my mask off in front of my girlfriend anymore. My trust issues might get the better of me, but I think she might be cheating on me. We're together for almost 7 months and I don't know what to do or to think. She has saved so many peoples with hearts on her phone. She wished someone a happy new year on new years eve that she once wrote an "I love you <3" to and definitely wasn't me. I was cuddling with her and just saw it on her phone. Yesterday she was at my place and looked at her Instagram messages and I saw someone wishing her a good night and calling her a pet name. Both messages could be old, her exes. But honestly, I'm terrified. Terrified of being left for someone else again. I want to talk about it with her, but it feels like it isn't a good idea. I will sound insane and would break the trust she has in me. I don't know if I can continue this relationship. Sometimes it feels like we moved too fast, we have only known each other for one year before dating. We're both at our lowest place mental health wise and I don't know if I can help her anymore when her downs of depression hits. I'm scared of opening up about my downs to her since she is already in a bad state herself.

2 years ago

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