This notion in psychology that most people are genuinely trustworthy and dependable? No. That's an idealized standard. Most people are self driven by personal gain. If it is beneficial for them to work with you, they will. If it's beneficial to cut you out or hurt you, they will. The only thing people can be dependable for doing is looking out for themselves. Emotional stability? More like emotional suppression. It's ok if you express the more comfortable emotions like love, compassion, sympathy, things like that. But the other side of not so desirable emotions that no one is comfortable with? Yeah, you need to suppress that shit and keep it to yourself. Or else you're mentally unstable and dangerous. This notion that you absolutely must be comfortable with being alone or rejected, yeah that's easy to say when you've got your little click and your family ties to you rely on. But when someone has no one else, that notion just becomes another excuse to isolate that person even further. While in reality, we are born with the need for socialization and connection. But you'd never understand that, so you can't see from that perspective. So no, this isn't about you becoming a better person for yourself. It's not going to factually make you happier. It's about presenting yourself in a socially acceptable manner that does not reflect who you actually are and in this, you're not keeping a well balanced, flexible sense of self. You're just projecting out what others want to see. It is ALL bullshit! All of it! It doesn't matter if you're emotionally stable or not, you could be a fucking rageaholic on the inside, so long as no one else has to see it or deal with it, you are golden. Nothing needs to change. You're seen a stable and therefore lovable. You could even argue that even though you might experience that rage inside, you don't put it outwards and therefore is of no one else's concern. Even when those little "emotional detectives" come around and say they think whatever of you. They're just being abusive! Saying they know what you think and how you think and how you feel. All of this garbage is fucking bullshit! So if you really want to know how to function is this fucked up society, even according to science. Here's what you need to do. Don't express negative emotions too frequently or too intensely. Especially feelings of depression or sadness, doubly so if you're a male. Since sadness and depression are signs of weakness. Own it with your body language. Study how confident people move and hold themselves. You can be the utmost insecure little peon in the world on the inside. So long as you hold yourself with a confident stance on the outside, that's all they care about. Be sociable. Let people come into your life and then let them go. You can cry in private later, but in front of everyone and I mean everyone even your spouse, you keep those emotions closed off. They don't get to see it. Because they will judge you for it and then they'll cut you out for it. Be generally nice to people. You don't necessarily need to be all empathetic. But just being a decent person goes a long way. Even if you have to force it a bit. These people don't care if you're sad or sick on the inside. They care that you act like them on the outside, it helps validate their worldview that they want so desperately to cling to. Even though it is clearly falling apart pretty much everywhere these days. They don't want to accept you if you aren't like them. So be like them. Even if you don't really want to. That's how you have an earned secure attachment style. See if you can prove me wrong.

2 years ago

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