I’m at a point in my life where I am unmotivated to do any and everything. I keep a smile on my face so I don’t worry my family, I distanced myself from my friends and it’s at a point now that my best friend doesn’t really talk to me anymore. And I hate myself for that cause it’s nobody’s fault but my own. I’m suppose to be graduating soon and I already told my parents I didn’t want to walk but then they went and told all their friends and my family that they’re going to record my graduation so everybody can see. Now they are saying I’m going to have to walk even though I don’t want to because of my social anxiety. Then there is a limit on grad tickets so I would have to decide who the one person in my immediate family can’t go. I procrastinated and missed all the deadlines for college so now I have to go to my local college, and with my grandparents and parents being who they are I know they are disappointed in me. I just want to disappear, I wanna just go somewhere where I can just breathe and not have to worry or stress about anything. I keep having these reoccurring thoughts to just runaway from everything and everybody.

2 years ago

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