Up until, say, seven months ago I always thought ADHD was something only little boys had. And the symptoms were being hyperactive and, well, stupid. But I learned that girls can have it too, and that girls often experience different symptoms. I started looking into it; looking up symptoms, reading articles, and watching videos of women talking about their experiences with ADHD. That's when I started realizing I heavily related to everything I was seeing. I fidget and pace. I'm very forgetful, to the point where its concerning. My area's are always unorganized and I have a hard time with organization things in general. I day-dream to the point it's an issue. I procrastinate. I get distracted very easily to the point it's an issue. It's hard for me to focus when people are talking to me. I find it hard to calm down. I often feel restless. I've had some past and current issues with sensory things. If I find schoolwork boring and repetitive, I'll simply not do it. My mind constantly feels chaotic and running 100 MPH. I have big bursts of energy where I feel like I could run a marathon then immediately after crash for like a half an hour nap. I'm sure there are many other things I'm missing or have forgotten. I relate to all of these things people are telling me are symptoms. I've taken four online tests (not like the shitty Buzzfeed ones but actual physiological/neurotypical websites) that have all told me I have high signs of ADHD. So heres where the issue comes in. I'm scared to tell anyone. I know being nerodivergent is "trendy" and "quirky" right now even though nerodivergency is a serious mental condition that many people struggle with. I'm scared that some part of me is just trying to be "quirky" or "not like the other girls" or "attention seeking". What if I want attention and I'm just trying to convince myself that I have these symptoms? What if I'm being dramatic? My worst fear is actually talking to my mom about it, making this big deal, going to get tested, and it turning out that I don't have it. I would've just wasted everyone's time and made a fool of myself. I think I would actually die of pure shame and embarrassment. Besides, I'm afraid my mom will be like; "You have good grades and you have a few friends, why would there be anything wrong with you?" I'm scared and I don't know what to do. Can someone please give me advice?

2 years ago

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