I’m here again, and I need to tell my story, before I hate myself even more, back when I was younger I wasn’t the prettiest or skinniest, but there was someone who saw passed that, I miss him everyday deep down in my heart. I changed everything about myself when I missed out on my first love, I became skinnier and prettier just for one guy in my past who was my first love. Even when I didn’t have the courage to tell you in those three years I still smiled and was okay with being friends. My first love and I lost him, all because of my insecurities, who I was before must’ve been the girl you were into, even though I didn’t feel pretty, and after a good while you see me one day in the store but I didn’t see you. When you saw me you didn’t say hi, or hello how are you? You knew it was me, long hair gorgeous face nice body but you chose to walk by, why did you leave like that? I had to hear through someone you did love me, and then I asked you a couple years later why you didn’t tell me, and there was no response after a few texts. My heart raced for you, but I was too cowardly, you were skinny, good looking, a grade above me, came from an easy background. Good at sports, running everything, and then there I was, when I had more weight and cut my long hair, yet you still were with me. Why did you change so much after the couple of years, is it because when you saw me on media or my photos you couldn’t comprehend I became more beautiful for you? I changed who I was entering high school, and now in graduating and I still don’t hear from you. That’s fine but I changed who I was completely just to be the perfect girl for you, I even thought of plastic surgery, even though I thinned out and that’s when guys started paying attention to me some more, for my body and I was on a downward spiral. Losing you my first love, and you don’t even know what I’ve been through these past few years. Now here I am, a young women who’s ready to enter the world and you know. I’m glad I changed who I am, who cares if I sent nudes, or had sex or hooked up, (about 5 guys) I’ve lived and learned, I have many friends, and admirers, what we did in the past doesn’t matter, I just hope I can see you again down the road, hopefully then I can confess to you if fate allows it.

2 years ago

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