um hey, I'm just gonna get straight to it. so for the past 3 weeks, I've started talking to this boy who went to my old school and he only came later in gr. 5. we have talked before but we never really friends cause he was much more popular tbh. but he was chill and down to earth. so yeah, I reached out to him randomly with no intentions and since I don't talk to much people, I enjoyed talking to him. we really caught up and just talked about how things were going. we gradually became better friends and talked a lot more. I always got excited to see his name pop up on my notification bar. recently a few days ago, he added me on snap a few days ago. I sent him a snap and then another the next day. he soon began to save my snaps in the chat and for some reason that made me happy. we soon became close enough to send voicenotes and it was so fun. he really starting creeping into my heart and as much as I told myself i didn't like him, I only realized how much I did last night. so we were talking through voicenotes about something and then relationship stuff as brought up. he then went on to say that for now he's staying away from relationships and attachment for now and I understand that, around late April, him and his ex broke up and they were together for about a year and a half and that's a pretty long time but when I tell you, as soon as I processed what he just said on that voicenote, my heart broke into a million pieces and I burst into tears and cried so hard. although he didn't inherently reject me, it felt way worse. I mean, he always saved my snaps, said how he liked my hair, how I had a cute smile and all that stuff and it really made me feel like I was actually pretty. but I was wrong. and he would never like someone like me. never. he's probably still thinking about his ex, plus I saw a video he posted on his whatsapp status and it was obviously about an ex so... but I'm okay. I'm still going through the works and figuring life out.

2 years ago

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