i don't know what do to anymore

im tired. i can't do anything right. im ugly. im a total failure. im fat. friends. why tf do i need to like the same gender as me. everyone makes me think it's a sin. i wanna be pretty and normal just like my friends. i just wanna be able to eat without feeling guilty. im just tired of everything. school calls me stupid, my family calls me stupid, my friends call me stupid. i just wanna fell happy one more time. i just want to be happy in this world. i wanna make my parents proud but every single little thing i do its not right for them. i wanna know what's like love someone without being judge by everyone. i wanna eat without being judge. I JUST WANNA FUC**NG LIVE WITHOUT A FUC**NG WORRY IN THE WORLD. i actually just wanna try weed right now. ok that's it bye