i have ocd (intrusive thoughts) about my mother sexually and sometimes other people and it slowly going out control, sometimes i can control it and other times i can’t and it doesn’t help that i have really bad anxiety half of the time i just want to kill myself but i’m too scared to do it. i’ve always been that kind of person to think about the afterlife and it’s gets so annoying because i don’t want to be here anymore there’s times when i’m happy but it doesn’t last long, i’m only 15 i always think what it would be like to be normal. i’m getting help but it’s like sometimes i don’t want to go i feel like it’s not doing much, i always get this overwhelming feeling and i hate it and i just wish life wasn’t so fucking hard. i just want help i’ve literally go no friends and my last friend was so fucking fake i don’t have anyone to really turn to and i’m really insecure about myself, i don’t even leave my house only when i go and get that 'help' what should i do i feel so lost, sometimes i feel like i’m being to dramatic and feel like no one understands me. i just feel so alone i hate it
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