The past few days me and my boyfriend have been doing really bad. He justifies not talking to me because I pissed him off, and told me he was busy when he was just playing video games. Every night I'm too scared to tell him how upset I am because whenever I've done that before he threatens to leave the talking platform until I've "calmed down". He's been stressed out lately and so I've been doing my best to help him, always asking what he needs and trying to ease his burdens; but every time something like that happens for me, he expects me to figure it out myself. I'm supposed to not only keep myself happy, which is already a challenge since I suffer from bipolar disorder, by myself; but I'm also supposed to keep him that way. I've been going to sleep crying for the past few nights because I don't know what to do about it. I can't just leave him because my family is really toxic, and I've been trying to find ways to cope without doing self harm. I don't know who to talk to because my entire family doesn't believe that my boyfriend is a good guy, and all my friends don't know about him. Our relationship was fine until he moved within a span of a month, leaving me high and dry with my awful family. On the good days, we are even better than fine, when I say "I love you" to him I really mean it. But now it feels more like a thing to say to make sure he doesn't worry about how I'm feeling. It's so hard with the 3 hour time gap, and I've become less of a priority in his mind. He used to make sure he talked to me every morning and night, and would stay up for me, and would try to comfort me; but now its only if he wants to. He told me a few hours ago that he wanted to go to bed while I was clearly upset because "having a sleep schedule would be more beneficial". I don't know what to do or how long I'm supposed to wait it out until it's too much and I should leave. I don't want to, he's honestly a great guy, he just is having a rough patch, right?

2 years ago

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