Queen's Christmas message pays tribute to 'beloved' Philip

"Christmas can be hard for those who have lost loved ones," says the Queen in her Christmas address.

29 days ago

I caught Santa Claus sliding down the chimney and shoved the Farman’s face right into my bare ass. I screamed “TAKE A WIFF OF MY ASS YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER” as I repeatedly ripped brutal farts. The fat motherfucker passed out. Unfortunately Rudolph, Donner and Blitzten all came to his defense and rammed me in the ass until my colon burst and I had to go to the hospital. I have four couches.

29 days ago