Hey, I'm a 15 year old, I'm currently struggling in school and at home, I work a part-time job at a store and I have a bad habit of self harm and drinking way too many energy drinks, I just wanted to talk here because it's been getting worse, my self diagnosed depression has kicked up a notch and my insomnia has worsened where over the span of four days I've only managed to get under four hours of sleep, I feel sick when I wake up and regularly feel the need to throw up. I have a packet of pills in my school bag but I haven't touched it, yet. I feel like I need help but I don't want to talk to anyone, the last time I did, I got ratted out on my self harm, it wasn't very fun. I've been trying to take my mind off of things by drawing and talking to my girlfriend. My long distance girlfriend, it's been two years and we haven't even held each others hands, I feel so lost and alone sometimes, and it just gets to me and I'll break down. I know you all probably don't want a life story but I guess this is what this site is for. So.. here we go. Around the middle of last year, I was on a trip with my two siblings, my father and my step mother (both of which I loather completely). I had gotten into an argument with my older sister and it ended.. well, not very well. It began as a simple argument then evolved into just.. something. I was called a disappointment by my older sister and as you can tell it made me feel pretty horrible about myself, that's when it first started. The thought of self harm, it wasn't a very fun experience. After a while using my nail on my wrist just stopped working, it progressed into sharpener blades then razor blades. I felt actually pretty okay, even though it was stinging and burning and bleeding, I just wiped away the blood, had a shower and got over it, to the point where my left arm was covered in lacerations. I've been to a school counsellor, but it didn't end very well so I stopped going. It's been a bit over a year and a half, I still cut sometimes, but I'm better I guess. I hope you guys are doing better than me..