I’m so angry at the world, angry that I don’t have no mother nor father. I have no family, I hate being alone... I don’t know what I’m going to do to secure my spot at the Towers. I only got a hundred bucks and the deposit is $400 and on a first come first serve basis. I’m so lonely. What am I going to do for my future. I got nobody to turn to. I feel so tired mentally. I think I need to go on a walk. I’m so glad Evelyn is buying me the yearbook. I know I won’t have a graduation but that’s okay, when I have my kid, every thing I didn’t get, I will make sure they get and we will enjoy it together. Oh how naive i was when I was younger, dreaming of this day. I was top 15 of my class of 497 and no one cares. Cateline just like to put me down, saying that I don’t know anything, how when she was in school she use to help everyone out, and how being good at school now doesn’t mean you will get far in life. She often tells me that the people you expect the least are going to make it, not those you expected. What a way to put someone so low. I use to be so confident, but now I’m afraid I’m losing it or have already lost it. All that is left is an insecure little girl who doubt herself. Why me? Why couldn’t I get someone who tells me I love you instead of telling me that I should have been aborted every day since I was 6 years old. What did I do to deserve such treatments? My siblings don’t get the same treatment. I get sexually harass, mentally abuse, what more. I spent my birthday with no one! No one to tell me that 18 years ago on April 14 a miracle came into their life. Rather two days later, I am told that I should have been dead. I’m so empty inside... Am I supposed to smile and act like everything is splendid? And sing, “what a Wonderful World!” Anyway, “Sometimes in my tears I drown, but I never let it get me down, so when negativity surrounds I know someday it will all come around...”

2 years ago

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