I've been cheating on my girlfriend (R) with several girls. Not physically but it is still considering cheating. I love this girl so much and i don't want her to find out ever. She is the one thing that keeps me happy and I know it's not right to do but I still do it either ways. I seriously don't know what I would do if I lost this girl. I don't want her to find out because this girl has severe depression and she has had a really shitty past. I honestly think that she would kill herself if she found out. i don't think she will ever recover if she found out. She is probably going to think that she is worthless and just a no-body again. According to her I'm the only thing that's kept her happy for the last 5 months. She is the one I want and I just use the other girls for nudes and attention, but if I'm being honest I feel no regret. This feeling has happened to me multiple times. I used this foster kid for Nudes and attention for a good 2 months (Before dating R) and she was at the peak of her life, good grades, happy, good friend group, but then I got tired of it. The time had come to ghost her. She was part of my friend group and she was talking to my best friend when all of the Nudes and the attention was provided. About a week after I ghosted her they told me that her life had gone into pieces because of me, they told me that she cut herself because of me, started ghosting people, and at one point She tried ghosting our friend group. I cant really blame the poor girl, she wasn't really raised with a dad so I think that she started getting overly attached because of the way i treated her, I made her feel like the most appreciated girl in the world, she told me all her insecurities and her deepest secrets, I told her that she was perfect and other things just so she gave me more attention. The point is that she got emotionally attached. Anyways. Every thing that could of gone wrong went wrong. After hearing all these stories i didn't really feel resent or pity. I didn't care. But just the thought of loosing R or using her just shatters me. I love R so much and I just want to be with her. Not in a sexual way or anything but i just want her affection. Her skin next to mine, her playing with my hair, things like that. She's an angel. I love this girl so much. This is the first time I've ever felt this way. All the other girl I manipulate or use are just there like dirt surrounding a diamond. R is my Diamond. Rachel If you ever do see this I'm so sorry for the things that I've done behind your back. I love you always and forever.