I'm scared of my girlfriend leaving me when I start HRT. You see, I'm Non-Binary, afab, and someday want to do Top-Surgery as I feel really dysphoric regarding this part of my body. My girlfriend never had anything against it and supports this decision, at least that's what it seems like. She always makes sure to not do too much in the area when we cuddle for example, which I highly appreciate. She's trans herself, so she knows what dysphoria feels like. Recently I found out that when you go on Testosterone and use Finasteride with it, that Finasteride almost completely prevents the hair growth and bottom growth you usually experience with HRT, proven with some medical researches regarding it. My voice is another huge cause of my dysphoria and as a Non-Binary person, this would be the perfect way for my personal transition. Now we're getting to the point of the story why I'm writing this here. When I wrote my girlfriend about that, she seemed happy for me over text. Later that day we called and I was so happy about it my findings that I talked about it with her again. At this moment the mood shifted somehow and she asked questions of how I'm even going to get Finasteride and that it probably wouldn't make that big of a difference. I feel like she tried to talk it down, getting me to doubt if it would even work. Now I'm scared that she might not actually support my transition, as there were some instances before and after that to make me even more scared. Before we started dating almost 6 months ago, she identified as a lesbian. It was me who told her about omnisexual, which means you're open to date any gender but you have preferences. Due to her identifying as a lesbian beforehand and dating a girl before me, I guess she might have a preference for feminine-appearing people. And I definitely want an androgynous, maybe even masculine appearance. That's the first thing bugging me for a while now. And then there was the second situation only a couple of days after I found out about my possible way of transition. I was over at my girlfriend's house and I showed her a clip of my favorite streamer Ranboo in which he tries to show what his morning voice sounded like. Normally he has a bit of a darker voice and his voice was pretty deep this morning. He almost sounded like Corpse Husband, who is famous for his really deep voice. At first, I showed her what Corpse sounds like, then the Ranboo clip. After hearing both, she asked if I like people with dark voices, to which I said no, I just like the content both of them make. And then she asked if I wanted to have a dark voice as well. I said no as well, which she was happy about stating that she doesn't want to have a partner with a deep voice. So all of that makes me pretty scared of continuing my transition. She always tells me that she loves me and supports me with everything, but I feel like she might not be in the same boat with me regarding HRT, maybe top surgery as well. But we never talked about that in person as of yet, only over text as I can only see her on Sundays. It might just be my trust issues I have from too many false friends and my last relationship, maybe I'm trying to find something wrong with this relationship since I'm not used to a healthy relationship. I have no guts to ask her about her actual thoughts of me wanting to do HRT in the future. Any advice would be helpful...
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