I'm not looking for attention. I'm it trying to make people feel bad for me because that is the last thing I want. I have stayed silent for so long, but I have finally broken and let it all out to the one person I can trust: my mom. I'm in my first year of university and it has been shit. I'm getting fine grades, but I don't want to be here. I have no friends and every single day I think about killing myself. I have been keeping it all to myself but today I just broke. I told it all to my mom. Told her how desperately i wanted out and how badly I just want to come home because I have nobody where I am. I am alone and I want to die. And the thing is, all my mom said was to stop saying that. People always say that the first step to getting better is by talking to someone. But what is the point if they just tell you to stoping saying that and that's that. I'm back to carrying this burden alone and this is the closest I've been to actually just ending my life. I don't think I can mentally be here much longer. I have been crying all day and I can't even leave my dorm for the fear that someone will see that I have been crying. If I killed myself, nobody would notice. I have no friends here. I have nothing. And right now the thing that I want the most is to stop feeling this way.
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