I just received my score for this exam that’s basically 4 uni classes in 1. It’s hard. I get it. I took the exam and thought I did okay....maybe not a pass (any score 6+ is a pass), but maybe a 4 or 5. Yesterday, there was a system glitch and I found out that I failed. Fine. Today, I found out my score. I scored a 0. A 0 means you were well below average. I didn’t think I did THAT bad! I studied 3 full months, paid for a place to study at, and put in everything. I even took some time off of work to study. To me and many others, a 0 means you didn’t put in any effort. I put in every possible fucking effort! How the fuck did this happen?! Now, I have to go to work and pretend I’m okay. I have to go home and pretend I’m okay. I’m not okay. I just want to cry. But I have to pretend everything is fine because no one gets the amount of effort i put into taking that exam. I did whatever it took and still failed miserably. If I told colleagues, I may get the “try next time” or “maybe this isn’t the right field for you.” I’ve been dealing with depression for nearly 10 years and it took me 7 years to land a salary paying job. Granted, I have to take exams for it, but hey, it’s a full time job. If I told my family, I get a “try again next time” and then they’d wonder why I’m depressed. I guess I’ll go back to pretend to be happy....happy me :(

2 years ago

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