life has been weird recently. it feels like my mind is on a race track that never stops. the cars never run out of gas. and they never hit their brakes. im longing for the gas to run out and for my mind to hit the brakes. i need a moment of peace. im never happy with myself anymore. if only i knew when i was younger that this would be the way it is now. it hurts. everything hurts. and it never stops.