I have never been more fascinated by someone before. They’re mind is so unique, I am jealous. They think in their own way completely, something I could never do. I am forever searching for a version of myself that I don’t hate. That’s hard to do when I’m stuck in a room full of people who are waiting. For what, I don’t know. Maybe they’re waiting to find their own versions of themselves, just like I am. Or maybe they too are only jealous of that person with the strange mind. The person who isn’t waiting. Or maybe they just don’t know what to do next. I wish I wasn’t waiting anymore. After all, what’s the point in waiting for something that may never come? For a version of myself I may never meet? I will never wish to be like everyone else, for everyone else is cursed with the ordinary. Sometimes I want to scream in their faces, ‘aren’t you tired of doing absolutely nothing? Aren’t you going insane?’. There are people who can step outside and see. There are people who can feel the pull of the water, although everyone is drowning. There are people who know who they are without having to search too hard. There are those who are asleep, and those who lie awake. “I wouldn’t ever sleep if I didn’t have to.” I am cursed with sight, but not feeling. I have never been so fascinated with someone before. “This is my secret—that any moment I might fly away. Everyone on earth but me...” “There was a star riding through clouds one night, & I said to the star, 'Consume me'.” “May your eye go to the Sun, To the wind your soul...You are all the colors in one, at full brightness.” -Jamie

2 years ago

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