my wife has a lot of pain and sadness in her life, but I feel like a lot of it is her perception. She has fibromyalgia, which causes a lot of pains in different areas with no explanation. It makes real pain feel worse. I think it also makes her worry about things and read situations poorly. Either that or it's one of the many medications she's on. Every day I must console all of her complaining about various pains, or her sadness that our kids our getting older, or her worries that one of our kids will turn out rotten because of one bad day. It's overwhelming today especially. I try to just be supportive and offer help where I can. I try to keep a positive attitude, laugh lots and when I can, focus on my projects, but it's been really bad lately and I have no where to vent. That's why I'm here. I'm so tired of having to comfort her for this that and the other thing. It is wearing on me. I just want to have a normal conversation that doesn't involve pain, sadness, or worry. She complains about having to do so much house work (even though I do most of the house work) she complains about not having time to do anything, but when she does she wastes her time. I don't want to leave or anything, I just want to exist in my house without being an on-call therapist all the time. I am not a therapist, just a filmmaker. I feel bad that she is in pain all the time and has to deal with that. I feel guilty for not wanting to hear about it. But it gets to the point where it disrupts my work and since I am the only one working in our house that is kind of important. I need time to focus with having her problems shoved in my face. The kids are in online schooling right now and she has to sit with our youngest. He has special needs and sometimes does do the work he supposed to. I have to hear about how defiant he is being ALL DAY LONG. I work from home, in the basement, so there's constant guilt about being down here working on a film instead of up there fixing everything (he does school work better with me than her... I wonder why). Anyway. I just needed to vent. I don't have many close friends anymore. life is all about the wife and kid and trying to maintain some degree of positivity. It's not all bad all the time. hopefully things will improve. thanks for reading.
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