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I start high school this upcoming Wednesday. It hasn't really hit me yet that I have four years left until adulthood. I used to want to grow up so bad, watching my six older siblings have fun and be free, but now that it's my turn to age out, I feel so saddened at the thought of not having my family around anymore. My friends will all get their own lives and we'll fall out of touch for the most part. I'll miss my little sisters middle school and high school years. I'll be working and living all by myself. Also how am I supposed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life, when I don't even know who I am yet? I feel so dissociated from everything. It breaks my heart because I'm having this coming of age moment of, not character development, but acceptance. I have to accept my countdown until I'm forced out into the real world. I bet you it'll hit me the moment I step into that brick building Wednesday morning, surrounded by kids my age going through the exact same thing. We're alone, together. ~J.P