I promise to myself and the world that I will never pick my skin again. I suffer from body dysmorphic disorder, I’m lucky to only have it affect my perception of skin. Many people who suffer from bdd focus on their entire body, which must be hell. I haven’t been going outside for one month, not for even a breath of fresh air. I can’t even open my window without getting instantly paranoid. To reduce my problem into something more understandable than a vague disorder, I’d have to label my issue as acne dysmorphia. Because of this disorder I can’t function in society. I can not go outside, talk, or do work. I’m lucky I’m not an adult having this issue. I stay home because I pick my skin far too often, in fact I just picked my skin before writing this. It gives me such detrimental guilt, but I’m more than willing to solve this issue. My skin is clear, in fact some go to say that it is flawless. To other people I am very good looking and shine with my personality. However, when I’m left alone to pick my skin I see the worst part of my human nature. I wish to not be hedonistic, and ruin weeks and months worth of joy, memories, experience, and personal growth. This as well has gave me more than enough personal growth, however now that I’ve learned that people rely on each other for practically everything. I’ve realised I can’t be lonely, it is driving me insane. I pick my skin practically every chance I get, I have resisted before and it went well but my urges were to strong. What’s the point in scarring your face just for a little excitement to fulfil your disorders wants? There is no point, it is entirely hedonistic. With this, again I’ll restate I’m putting an end to my picking habits with this note. I am also going to hurt myself by scratching my skin, however this will only serve my promise. I will go through great lengths to make sure this promise is fulfilled. I am meant to be surprised by the worlds endless gifts, I can’t limit myself from this beautiful place. I promise to never pick my skin again.

2 years ago

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