My mind is like a wave, thrashing against rocks and punching anything that gets in the way, it’s fearless and doesn’t care if I disagree, doesn’t care if I tell it to stop. Sometimes it goes quiet, falls away from the rocks but there’s so much debris left behind and I’m left to pick up the pieces, it takes so long that the waves come back before I’ve cleaned it up and this repeats over and over, and over again. When will it stop? Will it ever stop? My mind is like a hurricane – I love that word, hurricane. Constantly swirling and twirling and bending, never-ending – not for long anyway, I try to take cover and it goes quiet for a while but I soon realise that everything is quiet, not just the hurricane but everything before and everything in between gets taken and the world around me is empty, there’s no dark or light or colour at all, there’s nothing. So I come out of the shelter, stop hiding because the hurricane is better than the silence, at least it’s something and when it gets too much I can always hide away again. Who am I? Am I happy? Sad? No, I know.. I’m lost. I am so small, I imagine myself in a world of darkness with things flying around and sometimes they hit me but I stay where I am because I don’t know where to go, I can’t see anything and sometimes I don’t even care. This is the first thing I’ve written for probably a year, or more – time gets lost to me, I have no concept of time really, a minute, an hour, a day.. It all feels the same.

2 years ago

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