I just posted but now I'm here again. I guess I'm just gonna keep writing stream of conscience bullshit until I feel good again. Everything burns. I feel so fucking hot, and everything I touch feels like it's burning my skin and pressing against me with a thousand needles, all protruding through my skin and the blood is bubbling out. The keys are burning the pads of my fingers, and the laptop resting on my legs is so fucking painful, but I have to push through and write this bullshit because I have nothing better to do with my sad, pathetic fucking life. I did go on a run today, which felt good. I felt like I was finally fucking doing something with my life, even though I do things every day. Painting, singing, screaming, writing, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming, sleeping, eating, breathing, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming. I know I'm alive, but I feel like I'm not living. Life isn't living unless you die a little. You can never know what actually living feels like until you die a little, so I'm gonna take this low point in my life and use it to die a little so that soon enough I'll finally feel like I'm living. Thank you if you read this bullshit. :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

2 years ago

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