I’ve put the first pill in my mouth and taken it out more than a dozen times now. I alternate between talking myself into it and out of it. The thing about pills is that it’s a lot of chances to change your mind. If I has a gun, I’d be gone. It’s two things. I just want someone to be there. Nobody cares enough to. And more than that, I need the hurt to stop. I need to stop being pushed into terrible pain by someone who claims to love me. And life has left me only one way out. Im writing this to make myself think more. That must mean the side of my brain arguing for life is winning. I dont know how long it will keep winning if I keep being put through this. And there’s no way to leave. Dont do anything to interfere, Internet. Trust me, the best you could do would be to delay the inevitable and force me into an even worse situation with the same problems. I just cant tell anyone in real life and had to get it off my chest to somebody so the tears could come.

1 year ago

Be the first to comment!