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I have a confession I had and sorta have a crush on her now. We have been friends for a long time. she is the best and a little anorexic but has always been there for me. We've met around the 6th grade 3 months after the start of school, I was sitting there and suddenly I dared myself to expand the friend list so I talk we had a weird conversation about what we liked to who do what do we want to be since that day we have been great friends since then. (the reason I put so much emphasis on a friend is that just like you get tired of hearing it I got tired of just being one). So happens she dated a friend and which relation went to the dumpster real quickly I honestly was happy for them I matured on the sense of that being stupid fight and when they broke up I was in a situation where both sides wanted my support or that's what I felt about that awkward situation. Then another person I knew but was not someone I knew that well, and now here we are she had bad experiences with other guys and I don't want her to get hurt I feel jealousy and yet sadness with rage and odd to admit happily, it's a weird feeling. jealousy because of why not me maybe because of our friendship asad/mad because I thought I left all of this behind a couple of years ago but I guess the mind changes. I don't want to be the guy who will just cockblock some other dude and yet I do. And I hated this feeling so should I end the friendship or should I tell her and let myself get exposed for this. she is a very special person when it comes to guys she is not great at choosing someone who does in a way treat her like an equal and secrets to run in her relations. Maybe it's me I am not boyfriend material my only true relation was only 2 months. She is my friend I don't want to loose that and yet I would risk it all for her to be on my arms. I guess romanticism has been put in hold. Thanks for listening I had to get it off my chest