I have made a mess of my life. I need to end my ten year relationship as I haven’t loved him for 3 years but I’m too much of a coward and I’ve been pretending everything is ok this whole time. I would be homeless if we broke up and I really don’t want to hurt him. He is such an amazing person I just don’t love him but he thinks everything is perfect. I also somehow fell in love with a friend, nothing has happened between us but I would like to pursue something with him but not until my relationship has ended but it can’t end it. I’m also extremely insecure about myself, I’m overweight, I’m ugly, I’m a mess. I lie all of the time and exaggerate everything to make myself seem more interesting. I’m struggling financially, I’m in debt that no one knows about. I have depression, anxiety, constantly suffering panic attacks. I’m struggling with endometriosis and other issues to do with that and honestly I’m just fed up. I’m so so tired of life. I want an out but I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to come clean as that would hurt people and I don’t want to hurt people. If I could take on board all of the hurt myself to make everyone happy I would. I wish I could. I don’t know what to do. I feel like my life is coming to a head.
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