i love you bubbub <3 daddy loves you so much bubby don't you ever forget that. i know this is all messed up buddy, and im really sorry you have to be sad because of it, it fuckin kills me. i love you so much spencer. i wish you were old enough to know any of this even just to the point that daddy's not doing good at all buddy.. i cant let you see that though. but daddy's really starting to short circuit and malfunction. daddys one blink of an eye from breaking down completely, beyond repair, for the last time. but its only because of you i stick around. this world is a nastier fuckin place than you can ever imagine.. there are horrific things that can happen to you that make you feel so horrible there arent words. ive felt and seen them all.. i won't dare let you navigate this nightmare without me.
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