why does everything seem impossible? I'm still young. I'm still in school. I most likely have genetic depression. I'm not diagnosed, but both of my parents have it genetically. My mom refuses to take me to a psychiatrist because she thinks that hanging out with my friends blew anxiety and depression out of existence. Because of this I feel like I can't talk to my parents about how I feel. I can't help but think about the future. I think about what my future school years will be like, what I'll do when I'm an adult. I can barely imagine it. But it all seems so hard. What's the point? All adulthood seems like to me is having a job, and paying bills. There's no excitement, no fun, nothing worth while. My parents reassure me that they'll be with me during it, but I don't believe them. They're both overweight, and wont be alive as long as they should. My dad has health problems and has a lot of pain just walking. My mom has a cigarette addiction. She's been smoking for at least 10-15+ years. I'm worried that I'm gonna lose them and have no one in my family to be able to rely on. Is there even a point in life? It just seems like you have to deal with shit the entire time and then die with no payoff. I just wish that there was a way to get rid of everything including myself. What am I supposed to do? Everything is unbearable at this point.

2 years ago

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