Although you're no longer in my life, I'm sorry for just leaving you like that. I told you the night before that I wasn't going anywhere for a while and then the next day I had blocked you on everything without giving you a reason as to why. Well I suppose this is me telling you. I know I can't do it to your face due to guilt. I did it for myself. You weren't healthy for me. I told you one time that I was taking a break for every thing to work o my mental health because I was so exhausted and mentally drained. Two days later you asked me if I was no longer "Mentally drained". Two fucking days. Seriously? And you got mad at me and you wouldn't speak to me after you had found out I attempted. Why were you the one who was pissed? Oh and remember how I had told you about my sexual assault? Remember how you laughed and made jokes about it? Yeah. It was very funny, I know. I was up every night making sure that you were okay. Making sure you didn't try to kill yourself. Was I mad at you? No. So why were you mad at me? You feel the need to make everyone else have a bad day if you're having one. One day I was just annoyed about everything and you kept going on about one specific thing. "Is it because of ____?" and I said "Not everything is fucking about them, alright?" And you got pissed? Then I was listening to music to try and calm myself down and yo kept going on and on. Then you asked "Out of 10, how pissed are you?" I flipped you off and you got pissed at that. I'm not trying to invalidate you or anything but what the fuck?? I just couldn't keep up with you anymore. I was out every single day for a whole month because I just couldn't say no. I felt bad because I knew being out with your friends was the only way you felt better. For me it was the complete opposite, I need to be alone with myself so I can figure out what's wrong and work on it. I put myself on hold for you. I couldn't keep doing that. You kept asking me all the time the same fucking question. You got the same answer every time yet you kept asking. You only ever talked to me if it was the same stupid question or if it was about you. I was honestly getting so fed up and I was going to tell you what you wanted to hear rather than what was true.

2 years ago

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