I don't know...at last, I was able to find a website where I can express my thoughts and insecurities anonymously. This freaking life has been grinding my gears inside and I don't even know what to do. I am struggling to live my life, I am an adult now and I feel like my life has nowhere to go. Started when I dropped out of college due to financial issues and other stuff...started an entry level paying job that relates to manpower, well what will you expect for a college drop-out right? Then got into a BPO company out of luck and luckily I was able to use what I've studied but still a mess out of other employees working. Lots of experience was gained throughout my stay and managed to jump into another company again, then here it goes my life crisis. After all of those job hopping...most of my current interviews are failing and it seems that my pride has been taking its toll. Now here I am typing on this stupid yet awesome website (thanks to you) just to let go off of my frustrations in my miserable life. I think I've been really in a hell of a lot of stuff, during the past years some people that I knew and some that I am very close with has left this world and I'm telling you it very sad to see those people leaving and seeing them in their grave ughh...I just can't help it, I wanna cry right now but tears are not just coming out of my eye. Back to my story, with all of these bullshit that is happening in my life until now suicidal thought are happening on a weekly basis but I am not just into it. I somehow imagine that maybe if I just disappear in a blink of an eye without getting hurt by someone or myself then that would be good but this stupid life is not like that. This stupid life is composed of horribly bad attitude/values/ideologies etc. Also, it's a mix of people that is on a demon level way of thinking you know those kind of stuff that does not involve care, compassion, or value against the humanity. Right now, I am not even sure if I will continue with applying for a job tomorrow as I always keep on failing, or else I will just sell my car so that I have the budget to live for another week or month. By the way this pandemic has brought us shits and stuff like it was created by someone overly powerful above us, like this situation right now was made by a powerful evil human we don't even know about. I do not know how to end this story but I think it will just continue like it should. And by the way, I was just like reading some biblical quotes over social media platforms and other stuff about Buddhism and watching some videos about how to have an easier life and still same story...nothing helps. I am 28 years old right now and nothing significant to be proud of just having a car which I even bought used and that's it, no hidden treasure or even a savings. I know where I want to go. I want to have a corporate job that values my talents a job that I will treasure a job that will not make you a slave rat or a guinea pig but sadly here I am always getting failed at interviews (Final interviews) to be exact. And I don't know where my life is going. Did not even have a partner despite my age and I don't know. Worst thing that may happen is that maybe I'll end up on streets be a crazy lunatic person and whatnot or a male whore but I'm not sure about the male whore thing lol, I don't know. I just think that my life is so fucked up. To the people here do yo have a fucked up story too?

3 years ago

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