i don't know what to do anymore. i fell in love with a guy. but i cant love him the way he loves me because my smile is fake. my parents they hardly know anything about me.i tell my sister all these horrible things about herself when i feel insecure myself. i smile and laugh with my friends to hide the fact that i can't tell them this. i lie on my doctors paper. they ask me am i happy or have i ever felt like a burden but to be honest everyday i wonder if be something useful to my family, my school work and school in general has got me so tired.i want to kill myself.but i cant im weak and a coward. there people in this world that would die just because of me but i doubt that's true. i hate the fact my mom doesn't understand that every humans had emotions and tells me that i don't know being insecure means or how being depressed actually feels. but she doesnt know that i know shes cheating or how i feel when i see her. i tend to tell myself hey it's gonna be alright but to be honest is it. i just need someone to tell me they love me. because not even my own boyfriend tells me that. i want someone to tell my its okay to be broken because i'm perfect the way i am. i want someone to give me hope. i dont care its false hope i just need someone to tell me hey no matter what someone says your you take things at your own pace cause no one can judge you . before the last strands of hope gets tugged of and i go over my head and kill myself. i need someone anyone please

2 years ago

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