Depression what is it? Well……. It is different for everyone but this is my story. I suffer from social anxiety and mild depression which makes it hard for me to open up and well when I do I just get hurt really bad and then cut my self off from everyone. I have never told anyone this but a few months ago I was severely depressed and had major anxiety. It took a massive piece of me that I know I will never get back. Like my life is good there’s nothing really wrong with it bare some things but, it has just hit me I feel this way not because of everyone or everything in my life but because of me. I’m what’s wrong, I hate how I look, feel, act even talk and as much as I try to change it Nevers goes away. I’m killing myself every day. I am so lonely and sad and scared. What’s wrong with me? I try to tell people but everyone just takes it as a joke and doesn’t listen. I am sick and tired of getting hurt and used constantly I’m done. I don’t like here and I don’t think I ever will, that’s just the truth. I am crying out for help but the only person that can help me is the person I hate the most in this world and that well that is me. It’s me. It’s always been me and it will never stop being me. Cause everyone else in your life will eventually leave and only one person that is going to be there until you die and that’s yourself. I feel trapped and conflicted very conflicted I have given life to many chances to be better and to give me something to want to make me stay, but it just keeps giving me things that want to make me leave. I’ve made a mistake, I trusted a complete stranger. I trusted myself why did I do that? It’s the loneliness that’s killing me. I’m not unique or different or even wanted by anyone especially not anyone romantically. I cry myself to sleep almost every night, I know its bad but it helps me only for a little bit but it still helps. I'm getting used constantly by guys for my body and I'm sick of it, I'm sick of getting asked for nudes or being called hot and any nickname in general, I just need someone to talk to and every time I try to open up I get shut down. I give up, I'm done trying to please everyone and make everyone happy cause the only thing that's doing is hurting me. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I'm trapped and there's nothing I can do.

2 years ago

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