Shame

I'm supposed to speak at least two languages well. I can't and I'm asked for advice on how to do this all day at work. I feel like the biggest asshole, repeating information backed by multiple studies, yet I'm no example of practical application. The reason I can't is that I haven't put in the work despite offers from friends because no matter how heavy of a dose of psych meds I'm put on, I don't want to talk to people unless forced for work. Why? Because whenever I'm wrong about something I'm overwhelmed with feelings of shame. I'll either want to die or get really defensive and start obsessing over how whoever it was is dangerous to associate with.